Did you ever create something that you are the only one who knew each detail of it? That is how God knows everything about us. God knows each of us better than we know our self. He created each of us in his image (Genesis 1:27 ) “with his hands. He knows every hurts that we have and each needs before we do. By doing the will of God we are doing our will. Also by doing the  Will of God we would feel peace and joy in our hearts.

What is the Will of God for me today? In The Our Father, we pray “Thy will be done.” It means to me I must try to do the will of God all the time. I need to be open to God and I need to be able to listen to what God is telling me. To do this is through praying and quiet time with God. I am 56 and I am finding sometimes it hard to do this.

Yes, I do pray throughout the day. But some days I do not take the time to listen to my God. That is one of the most important parts of praying. I need to say, like in 2 Samuel 3.9, “Speak Lord your servant is listening.” If I do not listen how I would know what is the will of God? Listening also takes time and patience. Praying takes time and patience because we are talking with God, not telling God what we want or needed!

Two weeks ago I was working on my life story I got so upset about what happened 30 years ago. Yes, I forgave the people that hurt me but I still got upset. Why? I do not know. But then I knew I needed to stop writing and spent time in prayer.

When I had my first car in Grande Prairie I went for a drive in the afternoon and I stopped at the church fur 5 or 10 minutes. I had to go into the side door where a few stairs was because the main doors were locked. I have Cerebral Palsy and I had a difficult time walking but I could go up and down stairs easily. Few times it was icy and I thought I must be crazy. But I did not fall. God held my hand until I got into my car.

At first, it was hard to sit in the back of the church. I felt like I should not be there and I felt like I had broken into the church.  I thought what people would say if they see me here? But it was so quiet and peaceful. I said a few prayers and I went home. But I came back every few days. I felt God was calling me to sit with him. I told God about my problems and my dreams. Then I sat there and I listen to my friend Jesus.

Once I went to the church and felt I hit a crossroad in my life. I was sitting at the back of the church and I said “What should I do God? What should I do, Jesus?”  I heard a voice saying stay focused, just stay focused on me. I sat there for a while.  I went home and  I wrote this poem.

The peace I felt was unbelievable.  I went to sit in the church every day during the afternoon weekday and I also went to the evening mass.

I wanted to get a computer job. A friend and I were talking about starting up a business. We talked about what kind of business to open. We agreed to open up a business to help people to find a job. I didn’t have the time to go to the church to pray and to listen to God in the afternoon. Two years after we had to shut the doors. I was broken inside of me and I wanted to die. All because I stopped listening to God. Yes, I prayed I told God what I wanted. I forgot what is the second part of praying, listening to God.

Another friend asked me to do a piety talk for a Cursillo weekend.  My friend knew what I went through the two years. He had picked me up every Saturday morning for the Cursillo men prayer group for 7 years. He knew who I was?

That was a hard talk to write. It took me six weeks to write it. I had to forget what had happened in the business and wrote about my relationship with God. So I had to pray and then I needed to rewrite what I have just written.

After the Cursillo, I went back to the church in the afternoon to pray. But now I cannot drive, so I try to take some quiet time after I prayed the Rosary. As I sit in my Lazyboy and I ask Jesus to guide my thoughts as I am talking with God.

As I was writing this I realized every morning I need to pray “Speak Lord your servant is listening.”

By
Charles J. Breunig

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